Tales Of A Colonoscopy
By: Sean Novak
Ah…the infamous colonoscopy. Something oh so familiar to most of us with IBD, but shrouded in mystery to others.
First off, what is a colonoscopy? According to Wikipidea, a “Colonoscopy is the minimally invasive endoscopic examination of the large colon and the distal part of the small bowel with a fiber optic camera on a flexible tube passed through the anus.” Um...camera up anus = “minimally invasive”...not sure who wrote that but I would assume they never had one. So basically, they stick a camera where the sun don’t shine so they can have a look at what is going on up there and what's causing all your pain or bleeding, or whatever else caused them to stick that camera up there.
To most, this sounds a little uncomfortable and not something that you would want to do for fun. Well…in all honesty it’s not all that bad. For those who have been through this a few times we can tell you that the preparation for a colonoscopy is far worse than the colonoscopy itself. So, lets talk about the prep.
Since we are going to be having pictures of our colon taken it would make sense, and be rather beneficial, if there was no “crap” in your colon to get in the way of the tiny camera. So yes, we are going to have to clean it out, and clean it out good. Methods of doing this will vary based on your physician, but most entail drinking a really tasty cocktail, taking laxatives, and perhaps an enema. Oh yeah, no eating either…since we are trying to clean out the colon it doesn’t make any sense to put more stuff in it. The prep usually begins with a clear liquid diet approximately 24 hours before the colonoscopy and then the laxatives and yummy cocktail sometime later.
Time for a few tips: Make sure you have a stack of good magazines or a good book in the bathroom. Also, splurge for the expensive toilet paper. And finally…Don’t stray far from the bathroom cause once you take the laxative and drink your cocktail you and the Porcelain God are going to become close friends for the next few hours.
Having an appointment for the colonoscopy early in the morning is highly recommended by yours truly. The reason for this is you’ll get to eat again that much sooner. Once the preparation is over the rest is cake. To start, an IV will be started and you will be mildly sedated. You will lay on your left side and that will usually be the last thing you remember until you wake up. During the colonoscopy the Doctor will be able to do all kinds of great things with that scope of his. He will first of all get a great look at your colon. He or She will also be able to take biopsy’s as well as remove any polyps. Most importantly they will hopefully find the cause of your symptoms.
You will need someone to drive you home as you will be mildly “wasted” from the sedation following the colonoscopy, and won’t be able to drive or operate heavy machinery for the rest of the day. Your results of the colonoscopy are usually available right there and then except for biopsy results which usually take a few days.
And that’s it…That’s all there is to it. By far the worst part is the prep but once you make it through that the worst is then behind you. And make sure you go somewhere really good for lunch that day as a reward for making it! One more thing…Make sure you smile for those pictures ; )